…longing for lazy

“Bells, buzzers, sirens and horns ringing in my head.
Bill’s Budget Savings and Loan always in the red.
Time schedules, deadlines and forms I think I’ll go crazy.
I wish I could remember what is was like to be lazy.”

~ Make A Difference Tonight by the 77’s

I have a few small commission pieces in the works.  Commission work is always a bitter-sweet situation…or maybe closer to a backhanded compliment – at least in my head.

Commissions are validation.  My work is validated by the people seeking me out to have a specific, personal work made for them.  Admittedly that validation feels good; the sweet complimentary side of commission work.

Commissions provide a challenge – meeting the expectations of the client while not compromising composition and artistic integrity.  My challenge often moves closer to frustration as I struggle to find balance.  I care about good composition.  I should.  The visual response to my work is one of the reasons I get commission work.  I like to tell myself it’s the overriding reason someone wants my work.  However, I know there are other qualifying factors.

Coupled with the challenge of meeting expectations and self imposed deadlines, I don’t get much of my own work done.  That seems to escalate my frustration.

This week I finished up nine small sketches for interior tiles that will be installed in a home in Texas.  My thought was that I would get these sketches onto clay, dried and into the kiln by next week.  An impossible task.  I set myself up for failure.  My kiln is already loaded with bone dry work – including an earlier commission piece – ready to be fired.  A second commission is under plastic; drying slowly.  My unrealistic expectation to get these tiles in the kiln was driven by a desire to get to my own work.  The thought that I could whip these pieces out quickly so as to not impact my schedule was foolish.

In the end, when the commission work is complete, I still have a mountain of my own work (currently: 90+ pieces) sitting in wait for tests to be run, glazes to be made and applied – ultimately creating more frustrations…challenges…sweet challenges.